"Creep" and Well-Wishings

Yesterday morning I pulled up "Creep" by Radiohead up on youtube. My brother had it blasting in his car the night before and it stuck in my head like laffy taffy. I pulled it up, listened to it once through, and went to the piano. In fifteen minutes I had composed it on the piano. It wasn't long before my fingers were simply flittering across the keys sans any slip-ups or mistakes. I let it move me. I swayed. I was up with the high notes and back down with the low ones. My eyes could close (that's how I know when I've got something down.) This one I'm most proud of. I'm proud because I've found something that I can rely on being good at. Something that I have easy access to (the piano which is nestled in our small kitchen.) There are no nerves, no problems, I find peace in the movements. Almost therapeutic. Ahhhh. That was yesterday. Today marked the one week anniversary of not talking to my very best friend. We've been drifting because I've been finding myself and she's been spinning in chaos. It's one of those things where an idea you should have realized long ago hits you like a brick: we're totally different people. I'm not saying that opposites NEVER attract, but we're too young and too different now. We didn't used to be so different from each other, but as we both reach(ed) 18, our "drives" became very clear to each other and I think neither one of us can settle for the other's. I have a creative drive, one that is well-defined yet multi-faceted. I want to learn how to live, I want to play and come back to reality. I want to be well-grounded (and I think I am for my age.) She wants it all at once, she's sporadic, she thinks she knows life, she's mixed-up. I love her, and I have loved her for a long time, but how long can you stand around with your hands in your pocket and watch someone you care about make mistake after mistake after mistake? How long can you watch them let hurtful people in? How long can you explain and re-explain loving advice? It's too long. You may be thinking "One week!? That's NOTHING! People go months without seeing/talking." We used to talk every day or every other day at least. We used to make plans, send texts, be devious, go out. Then the texts became more impersonal, more awkward, less frequent, none. I do miss her, I miss the sense of humor we used to share, and I don't blame her for anything. But I think I'm growing up and maturing to the point where I can only wait around and twiddle my thumbs for so long. Boys come between us all the time. I've only ever been in one short-lived relationship, and she's been in eight more than that. Every boy has come between us, yet I came back around like clockwork. I stayed away when they called on her, I stayed near when she wanted me, and I came back around when they broke her heart. This new one is a standard guy, I won't be mean-spirited to him, though the negative part of me wants to lash out and call him my best  friend stealer. The last time we didn't talk it was only for three days or so, then I received a text explaining that things had been hectic. Not too hectic for him to be around. Just too hectic for me. Now, I won't be in the way. I move onward as she spins in dizzying circles. I move up and flourish and grow and learn about me every day. At first it hurt, and now I know it'll be okay. We let go, it's hard, but then we move onward and it's okay. I wish only good things. Maybe this is the absolute end of a friendship, or maybe it's not. Maybe she'll come around like clockwork this time.