Living With a Hipster

Okay, I think I've forgotten to write about the fact that I'm living with a hipster. My brother. At first, I overlooked the fact and thought it was kinda cool. He pulls off the look, reads interesting books, and can go with or without a beard just the same. Here's the thing: HE HAS AN OPINION ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THINKS EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY. Our family can't get through a t.v. show, let alone a commercial without him blurting something out about how the subliminal messages are screwing with our brain chemistry and the government is trying to breed a new sub-species of t.v. loving and obsessed zombies. It's really annoying. Now, I don't watch a lot of t.v., but occassionally I like to see one of my favorite actors on Regis & Kelly or watch a cooking show without the constant hipster reminder that it's not chocolate cake Paula Dean is cooking...it's a chocolately batch of conspiracy, and the oven representsthe government officials' product of society...and YOU are the cake. Here's the other thing: I cannot have a calm discussion with him because it ends up in one of these three directions:
1. the government
2. money
3. evil-doers (which coincides with all of the above)
Him and my mom get in..."conversations" about things all the time which elevate to arguments within the first five seconds, and I side with niether. There's no siding with a hipster because as soon as you do, they change their view and before you know it, they're battling against you all over again. That, or they won't acknowledge you at all, making you feel stupid.
Also, people can do no good. There is no specified amount of "good" that anyone can do, therefore there's an endless circle of no gooders out there trying to do no good. get it? Kiera Sedwick (or whatever, Kevin Bacon's wife) was on Regis and Kelly this morning. She got her cast and crew from "The Closer" to donate a U-Haul truck full of helpful shit to a disaster struck country within the U.S. This is good non? Not to my hipster brother. This is him: "Did you see that picture?! Only the front of the truck was full of shit! If I had that many dollars, I'd fill TEN TRUCCCKKKKSSSSSSS!!!" Yeah. I love my brother, I really do, however, he should think about toning down the hipster in the home. No one can be or do anything without passing the hipster evaluation (we still do what we want), so I guess I should call it "The Hipster Ridicule". I appreciate him sharing his cool sweaters from our local thrift stores with me, I appreciate the cool places he takes us, and the music he reccommends, but my lesson to you is: Don't watch T.V or get into politics with a hipster. How are you?