This Week

This week and I have been at odds with each other.
It's nothing important it's just one of those weeks that resembles an old piece of crumbly white chalk. It works, it's just bland.
I broke the news of moving to my grandma yesterday and the look on her face made me want to stay here longer (a feeling I thought I'd never have). She's sad because my mom is also moving away with my older sister, her kids, and her husband. If you can imagine an 87-year-old's reaction to being somewhat left behind, then you know what I mean. Even typing it out makes my stomach twist. It makes me fear getting old more than I feared it before and it makes me want to stay. She's happy for me, she never expressed her sadness, but she did express anger when she realized that it'll be me and my little ol' roommate in the big city with little means of scraping by. Ugh, it's a lot on my little glass plate.
On the other hand, I'm beyond excited to move. BEYOND. Work seems more tedious in every sense of the word "work". School work, waitressing work, every day work stuff, it all seems like it's stuck in a flood of molasses. At the same time it feels like I have everything to do and not enough time to get it done in. I feel like there's a lot of good coming- like I'll be able to start over 100% and that there will be people there who will be willing to start with me too.
I had a dream last night that I made out with a girl from work. Two guys with guns had stormed into the restaurant and they were into us. They wanted us to "hook up" so in order to protect both of our lives, I began to make out with her .I felt everything so I guess I got my kiss.
Work has been nuts. Customers have been mean. And the money is always nice. I've been eating grilled cheese with tomato for the last two days for dinner and it's excellent. I've also been obsessing over body-image and the fact that my soon-to-be-roomy is a size 0 and I'm a size 7. I'm sure when we're poor in the city, the lack of food in the fridge will fix that right up. ;)
You should go listen to "Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift.
Adieu.
P.S. I made a pillow