Tonight was odd. It was slow and then it was too fast and I was hot and everyone seemed angry and impatient. I stopped caring and letting my feelings rule me whence dealing with angry people. People get angry over food that doesn't come right away, you know, for some it doesn't come at all. Some go days without it and that's what I can't stand about our kind. Sorry.
It was nice to see a familiar face in the hectic mash-up of my workplace, it makes me remember the real outside of the hot, angry, exciting, loving, pit that is the diner. We shared two meals, and I was still hungry, always hungry, like I'm feeding a worm within my body instead of my actual stomach.
Hopefully tomorrow will make more sense, now that the carpenters are gone and I can sleep in without worrying about having to answer the door straight out of sleep and with no bra. Tonight, I sleep on a mattress on the floor and tomorrow we find me a new bed.
Things are a bit weird, like I need and I don't all at once. Like, when I divulged my plans to move to SF as well in the next year, things got weird like suddenly I'm now some sort of stalker. I'm not, I swear. Perhaps I said it too eagerly or said it in a way that sounded desperate. I can't care anymore- there's too much to lose in caring. HOWEVER, tomorrow will be better and I hope I find myself in the yellow light with motivation and logic on my side.
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