Boil

I feel maybe I will rupture one of these days.

A text message from her sister apologizing for the way things have turned out made my eyes brew up some hot tears that I never let out. I guess it's not understanding- not being able to fully allow myself to understand the fact that I've lost, but I've also won. I can't bring myself to understand her transformation from one week to the next and that I've lost my best friend to the enemy: a boy. You guys don't know how strong the hold is, but it's not your fault. It's somewhat up to the woman to gain control of herself and still lead her normal life without jumping off the deep end.
I may just cry one of these moments, but I can't right now. There is too much to get done and too many things that are priority- paper things, word things, writing things, that will never leave me for an abusive boy. Maybe she'll come around, but until then I will continue my "thankful" lists and continue to try and stay positive. This is just a warning, that I might need to cry at some point.