Dreams

I immediately wanted to call her. He had brushed the remains of a whip cream explosion off of my face with his thumb and scolded the wielder of the can. In that moment I wanted to first, fall into his arms, and second, call her and tell her all about it. I'm a bit conflicted as what to do. Perhaps I can just listen to
"Collide" by Howie Day 600 times and let the words sear into my soul. (melodramatic)
I cringed when the topic of him moving away came up again because I realized that losing a presence such as his is what I've really been worried about all along... not all the other stuff. It's an easily mistaken relationship, but it's a good one nonetheless.

I had a dream last night that was exceptionally vivid- brilliantly terrifying and enriching. I went to Italy with some friends from work and traveled around the hot, bright, tinted stone city of...some place in Italy.I ate, rather drank, some Italian version of boba- always walking with someone nondescript, until I ran into him and then he was always there, around every corner, in every shop, every doorway. We were always close. He took me around and the last thing he mentioned doing, before I ended up on a private beach without him, was that we go explore the gas chamber from WWII used on concentration camp victims.
I was on a private beach with these guys and some older blonde woman. We got on a speed boat and I sat, clinging to the bow as they revved and ran the boat in fast choppy circles in the darkest shade of blue water I've ever seen. I remember fearing falling into the water and there being sharks that would swiftly eat me. I remember staring down at the water (no one else was around) and seeing the ocean as having a cut off line, like we were in a vast pool, a dangerous vast pool. Suddenly, the boat took a nose-dive and I panicked, throwing myself into the water. I was spun around and around under water by the boat. I looked up and realized I was drowning. I was drowning, I flailed, and struggled and woke up gasping for air. I then realized that as soon as he was no longer present in the dream, I drowned. Significant? I think so...
I've been taking a different approach to him in real life, but find it hardest to function and think clearly, have normal dreams, when he's not around and that is what I wanted to call her about, but she's too busy cheating and being cheated on.