We were driving home from a dinner out with my brother and at my excited exclamation that my Anthropology final is optional, she spurred into the notion that I'm not giving it my all. Here's the thing: I've broken the curve in my psych class on the last test and aced all the others, soared through my last anthropology test and passed the one before, and got an 82% on my music midterm, not to mention the insurmountable amount of "redo's" my professor allows when homework is done incorrectly. Besides that, I have done very well on the homework despite the agony it puts me through. So, no I guess I'm not giving 100%, I guess I'm giving it an average B...or let's say an 82% to be safe.
She wasn't completely wrong in that I don't necessarily care for school, to be honest, I don't think I was cut out for sitting in a classroom and stressing over letters of the alphabet. What got to me was that she urged me to consider throwing my job overboard if it came up against a solid academic schedule. This work, that has made me happy and has finally granted me the ability to be a waitress with awesome, funny, sweet people. This job that I've worked so hard at and have been dedicated to for nearly half a year now. I love to work despite the small annoyances it brings, I love the money! I'm sorry, but I love feeling the security of independence and knowing that it's my hard-earned cash. All my mother sees is me sitting in a cardboard box ten years from now with a sign that reads: Will take anything. Starving.Just ate a stray cat. or Will sell my body for free if it gets me out of this box.
What I see is me, doing what makes me happy, making money, and not being miserable because of something I was doing for someone else all along. In all honesty, I'm not going to class for me. I'm doing it to keep my mom off my back (it's still not working) and to make sure she can tell people that her daughters are both in college. I guess I can thank my older sister for excelling in art school and making great strides for setting my mom's expectations so high. (I really am happy for my sister) BUT art school is not like what I'm doing. She basically got to do what she wanted to do right off the bat with a few pain in the ass art/drawing/color/graphic classes in between. Me, on the other hand, well, I'm floating from classroom to classroom trying to get by on required credits with about zero motivation and a huge cloud hanging over my head. C'mon when with the 82%'ers get some appreciation mom?
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