Rearrange Some Things

Sometimes we need to quit so that we can see what we've been missing- maybe it's sleep, laughter, food, or the calm. We're good at things...and we're not good at things. Sometimes we quit the things we're good at because in all honesty, it scares us to have a distraction. I dropped out of math, something that I will probably regret come next semester, but not something I regret now. I love it. I've never loved a thought about math more : not having to do it. What if we did that with other things? What if we just said "I want this, and I don't want to do something else" and what if we just did what we wanted? I don't mean drinking every night and getting hammered because we wanted to, or skipping a job interview at the expense of our family members, or dropping out of school altogether, I mean the little things. Things that will come along again and we can deal with them another time. Things like math for example. I hated it, I loathed having to be in class for two hours (7p.m.-9p.m.) and not understanding or caring about a damn thing. I hated failing and just laughing as I looked at my meager percentage before leaving the room an hour early. I hated.
   I hate to hate. So I think the things that I find myself hating should be removed for a little while. (Not people, I'm not a serial killer) I mean in my life. You know how it is? There are things that make waking up a hassle when we should be greeting the day and thanking it for allowing us to breath again, see again, love again. I felt guilty, I felt like I was disappointing my mom, but that passed, and now I feel lighter. Do something for you without wondering who will be looking down on you.
   Today I took on serving 100% and had a table of seven teenagers amongst others. It was stressful, a little hot, and my face began to shine with sweat, but the people I work with are great. Funny people who make me really laugh, something I hadn't done for two months straight. They compliment, joke, jab, yell, cuss, run, etc... they are people living in this world by all means necessary. So, my message tonight is to find something that seems like an ink stain on a white shirt and wipe it away. If you can't, if there's too many risks in doing so- do something that makes you happy instead. For the love of life
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