Thursday, August 2, 2012

Summer & Tom


 I keep seeing Tom and Summer in my head and then realizing that we are not Tom and Summer.
We are vulgar human beings with poor spelling, awkward glances, sloppy kisses, cold burritos, bitter fingers, sticky chests, taco tongues, and foul language. There's no such thing as a Tom and Summer because they were made for the silver screen and we were made to make mistakes. The second I stopped comparing was the second I found myself laughing uncontrollably in bed with my toes curling beneath the blanket...genuinely happy in a moment that Summer would have taken and turned to sour milk. I always wanted the romance depicted in the movies, the kind with staged arguments and get-back-togethers, adorable summer wardrobes, elegant weddings, city strolls, and one sex scene. I dreamed of that and only wanted JGL to hold me in his arms in the rain while I cried my pretty melting mascaraed eyes out.
We are not Tom and Summer.
We hobbled along the rocks of Dana Point Harbor fishing for crabs. I lost his favorite bait piece in the sea and clumsily tangled the line into a terrible knot. We fed squirrels honey mustard peanuts because the store didn't have the unpeeled classic kinds. I warded off the herds of hungry squirrels with a piece of a broken stick when the treats were gone and they continued like hungry zombies and approached with wild eyes.
When he told me I was beautiful I puffed my cheeks out and crossed my eyes to make sure he still thought so...he did. I don't have a heart-shaped birth mark on my knee or retro-cut bangs. I just have what I have and that is enough for me. I am me and Summer is Summer and he is he and Tom is Tom.

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