Lover

I have small moments of wanting to cry ever since i realized that I must step into reality again and deal with things that I got to leave behind while away. I have to deal with friends leaving in a week for college, I have to deal with the stress of going to college myself, the stress of bills/payments, work, and readjusting to my responsibilities. It wasn't just a trip, it was a step out of reality, out of our lives and into the future. Someday we will be on our own and with friends, wandering our new hometowns and scrounging for money. I yearn for the moment when I'll be on my own, i will it to formulate itself sooner rather than later. Going back to work today, I feel further from the carefree city that revived my sagging soul. Paying $350 for four textbooks, I feel bitter about the idea of money and how it actually does make the world go round. I hope this dreary feeling passes, oh San Francisco, like a lover that visits only once a year. I regret knowing you, but I will never stop hoping for and loving you. I will never stop hoping for the love of life. When my friends leave, I will not look for replacements, but I will try my best to fill the gaps they leave as they board their planes to other worlds. I will remain here and hold down the fort, try to keep my chin above water as this island sinks around me.