Not the New Kid

When it all comes spiraling forward, sweeping you up in a massive twirling suction and you find yourself at square one, you must remember one thing: you are not the new kid. You are not the kid that everyone in class turns to look at when you walk in the door for the first time, and you are not that person who eats peanut butter and jelly in a bathroom stall. You are the person who is loved by more people than you can count and those very people, cancel out any negativity or lonesomeness emanated by those around you or through yourself. Sometimes we notice the worst in something new because otherwise we'd have to accept the unacceptable. We'd have to adjust despite undeclared stubbornness. We're scared.  I'm terrified by the thought of starting over on Monday at a new place with strange people. New teachers, classrooms, classmates, curriculum, etc...but because I know that now, I have people in different states who love me, people who need me as much as I need them, I'll find comfort whilst wandering around alone for the first few weeks or months.  It doesn't matter that I'm still home, because home will never really be home without those people who are too far to touch, play, laugh, and argue with. But we must adjust, adapt, and declare our commitment to live no matter where we're placed. Live each day before it slips into the unchangeable void of life. It's a new nest, a new experience that will pass as the days do, so hold to it while you can, live it. My friends who have left/are leaving, they're already doctors, they already have their P.h.D's, they are already famous because of what they mean to me. Being alone has to become a choice from now on, we're not meant to wander alone unless we choose to. It'll be hard for me to lower the walls and redirect the cannons, but in all honesty, I too need to adapt to what's uncomfortable. I'm not a people person at all, I'd prefer to be in the peaceful alone to avoid being hurt, but getting hurt means you cared. I won't stop trying if you won't.