It's "Normal" I Know Not Of.

Last night I went agro in my setting. There's too much noise in the family hovel and too many winged creatures hopping all over the couch and over my body. When you toss one back to the cage, another escapes. Self-suffocating into my pillow couldn't shield my ears from the shrewd shrieking of the hungry feathered fiends. They are my mother's pets and I see how much she loves them, but I've also said that the day my mother passes away...those birds will be set free. Know why? Birds live way past their 50's.
I like being in my own secluded world. Like yesterday, when I was home alone, I turned up the music and danced in the kitchen while washing dishes. For a moment I pretended that I was alone in my apartment washing up for a dinner party that would take place later in the evening. Even the birds played along, because they stopped their incessant peeping and it was as if they weren't there. It's not a jungle out there, it's a jungle in here and I go outside to escape it. The floor is dowsed in seeds and scraps of paper from various projects, there are blankets and sheets on the floor, newspapers, and dog hair. I clean and the next day the sink is full up again. I'm in search of the quiet, people are my company, but only at my will of it.
Despite my efforts, I feel full of air and it seems as if my body is taking  a great heave of a sigh in preparation to sink in on itself. My jeans are too tight and I want to leap out of my skin and leave my brain for someone else to think with. I almost lunged at the TV when a commercial advertising cake came on. Then I realized that I'm not only resisting the temptation of food, but also the temptation of instant gratification. It's too loud in the house right now, the birds trill like fire alarms and my eardrums quiver. Our neighbors must hate us, in fact I'm sure of it. I cross my fingers and squeeze my eyes shut wishing for that small quiet apartment made just for me. The house is full with bird cages and sometimes I feel as if it's acting like the biggest of them all.
On a brighter note, I'm confident in my new fresh start routine and feel like by the end of the week I should see some kind of results. This is one thing I can definitely control. It's not easy and I already crave bread, but instant gratification must get lost in the shuffle. Below is "Everybody But Me" by Lykke Li. It's my "today's emotions" video.