Hunk of Meat Bag

I wonder sometimes why I become obsessed with certain things. The important thing is that I've recognized the somewhat obsessive trait I have within me. I go a little nuts when I'm passionate, inspired, or just plain intrigued by something. (Yes, I went through the embarrassing Twilight stage...action figures and all) BUT that's not what I mean right now.
   Looking through the pictures of past school peers in their new college environments, it  hits me: I will probably never see those folks again. ever." Not my close friends who I obviously cannot live without, but the people I used to see every day, the boy  I used to crush on, the people who sat behind me, next to me, across from me etc... I will probably never see them again. Then this hits me: Why did I care so much? Why did I obsess so much over him, over what he thought, over what I wore, over the things they said? I will never run into any of those people again, AND chances are, if I see them, I will turn my head awkwardly away hoping they will not recognize me. (I don't know why, but I think it's for the best). It turns out that the only people who I care about what they think, when they're coming back, and what I hope our future relationship will be are those who know that I know that they know who they are. Make sense? Probably not. Here's the thing: I don't look back on high school and say awww it was the greatest. I look back and say HOLYSHITIMSOGLADIMETYOUFEWPEOPLEWHOIMSOINLOVEWITH. I wonder why I tried so hard to impress him, why I went to EVERY show and did EVERYTHING in his honor for a certain amount of time, because now what the shit do I have? I don't have any feeling towards him, he's long gone, we're two completely different strangers now. I'm a fool, and he's missing out. ;) ( DISCLAIMER: I say that to make myself sound cooler than I actually am.) I guess he can represent the whole of the population that I was way too focused on too. I have my friends, my lovely understanding friends, and that's all I should have ever worried about: keeping them near and dear. I love their guts. I could care less about all the other things that seemed to be weighing me down back then. What a life eh? Now all I have to do is apply it to my current college life. Am I really going to care about what the good looking guy in the ball cap thought about me? Am I gonna care about the prissy girl who sat next to me? Probs not. My mom told me that from now on I should just speak my mind. For example, if someone is annoying me to no end I should just say "Eh Fella, shut the fuck up please" but can I do it? Hmmm....
I said I should just carry big hunks of meat in my purse to chuck at those who are "chuck-worthy". Wish me luck.