Breathe Me

Last night I laid in bed with my trusty ipod in ear. I closed my eyes and listened to my "Be Calm" playlist that seems to never get old despite many a' nights it has put me to rest. I always start with "Blood" and then let the shuffle do the rest, and this time shuffle decided on "Cubism Dream" which got me teary-eyed and bothered. For the first time I listened to every instrument, every thoughtful pluck of a string, touch of a key, or pat of a drum. I let it take me to their concert, the first time I saw them. I was with some of the people that I miss most now, standing idly in a medium-sized crowd in the dark, staring at red velvet curtains. I remembered the sheer power of the crowd, the tangible vibe that waved from the tips of toes up to the musicians on stage. The knocked over symbol that was smacked too hard in a moment of ultimate passion during "Sun Hands." Suddenly I missed my friends more than anything and wished I could be in that place one more time. Sia sent me into an emotional spiral as "Breath Me" took the place of the previous song. I was rocked with loneliness and wished I could be anywhere, but alone in my darkened room. I then realized that I wasn't alone. I realized, as corny as it sounds, how powerful music is. How suddenly, I didn't feel alone, because it was possible to be in all the places with all the people I wanted to be, just by replaying specific songs. Sure, I cried like a sissy, but at least I was feeling something for the first time in what felt like forever.