I've Seen Beauty that I Won't See Again

Without a word she began to play. "Rambling Man", my favorite song from her sophomoric album. There was something about her eyes, so dark and disconnected from her voice that sent an eerie chill up my spine which coincided with the chills I got from the bass that hummed in just the right timing. I stood in the crowd completely unable to realize what i witnessed and completely mesmerized. She had the crowd in the palm of her hand, vulnerable and willing to believe anything and everything she fed to us. Her eyes flicked to even the subtlest noises in the crowd like an animal on the defensive. She was honest in her inability to participate in stage banter and she spoke almost too quietly. I don't think I've ever gotten the kind of chills I got last night. Like waves of heat and goosebumps that went from toe to head in odd patterns. It was uncomfortable, yet I couldn't help but want the feeling to stay. As she sang the old songs and the new ones she seemed to be swept away in the midst of a harmonic melody and unwilling to relinquish the feeling that caught her eye and drew them to the ceiling. Like she saw ghosts or spirits ballroom dancing on the ceiling, her chin would be drawn up, her eyes cold. As she sang of the Devil and of God's planned work, I couldn't help but think she'd sold her soul for the beauty of her ringing voice and equally beautiful physical appearance. She was a presence to be reckoned with, and no one dared try to breach what belonged to her. The room belonged to her, I felt small as I looked up to her on the stage; such power behind the plucking of strings. The band seemed equally swept away and followed her from the light to the dark as they chimed in with heart and complete trust.
A new song was played (one not even on the new album) She said it was because she wanted to leave "opportunity to fuck up" since her band and her rarely fucked up on the same old set. It was beautiful and she understood that most audiences don't like sitting through new songs, but that "there {was} nothing we could do about it." There wasn't a single protest from the audience who, like i said, would follow her into complete darkness. Her song consisted of the recurring line "I do not want to love, I want to be alone. I cannot love, I want to be alone." I felt everything and nothing at the same time, like an out-of-body experience. I wanted so bad to be in her position, to be so humbled, so subtly famous, so beautiful in all the flaws and all the perfections. Her dark eyes frightened me and kept me entranced, much like a prey is mesmerized by the eyes of a snake.She's seemingly not of this world, but then again I am girl crushing hard on this idol of mine. She sounded perfect in all the ways I imagined.
On another note, "Alessi's Ark" opened for Laura, a two-man band (Alessi and Marcus) who were beautiful together. Her voice moved so intriguingly around her lips and out of her throat. She bantered quite lovely with the audience and connected in the trills of her light accented voice. What's better is that I got to meet her in person. As we were leaving, I caught the sight of her right next to the door outside talking with a very handsome man who smoked a cigarette. Star-struck I interrupted their quite conversation and asked for an autograph (then I dug nervously and for what seemed like forever for my sharpie). She laughed awkwardly and said "You can come closer to me. I don't bite, but I do smell a bit". Major. Girl.Crush. I asked her to sign the Laura Marling shirt I had bought and she bent down on her knees after asking my name and drew a sailboat with an "I" on the sail and said "Stay warm and safe on your travels <3 Alessi" I died. She then looked up the dark street and asked "Can you guys get home okay? Where are you parked?" We nervously looked at each other and I explained we were just around the corner "Not like I'm your mother" we all laughed and I told her I appreciated it all the same. We parted ways and I realized the kind of person I want to be: humble, soft-spoken, and able to emit my own sort of beautiful light no matter my appearance. It was an amazing night to say the least. I can cross a few things off my bucket list.
P.S. we saw the dad (Billy Burke) from Twilight walking around the venue...quite random right?